crazy midget sex

Somebody I know just broke up with his long term girlfriend and I could see how obviously distrought over it he was about it. I feel bad for him but that’s not the point of my writing right now. I wish that I had somebody in my life that I would be that distrought over losing. I’ve never had anybody that I cared enough about thet losing her would really bother me. The few pseudo-relationships that I have had never meant anything to me. Now with that whole “hindsight being 20/20” thing, I recognize that there was somebody that I truly liked, and I think that, no I KNEW that, she liked me also, but when we were approaching that next level – a level that in all of my 28+ years I have never experienced – I got scared and I let her slip through my fingers. We may have never even had a “date” – hell, I’ve NEVER had a “date” in my life (unless you count the prom) – but we had…….something. She was more than a partyline / courtside friend. She was and is a wonderful person with a great sense of humor that I haven’t spoke to in like 5 years and I truly miss her.

Nick Hogan got robbed!

...but that doesn't have one damn thing to do with this blog.

There's no better word to describe what I am than "bitch." Many adjectives can be used with bitch – but in the end the common denominator is…….I'm a fucking bitch.

I'm a whiny bitch. I complain about my life a lot. I have a general "why me" mentality going on. Why am I so fat? Because I'm too damn lazy and unmotivated to work out. Why do I have so few friends? Because I'm a quiet, shy, stubborn, unmotivated, lying, moody, unattractive fatass. Why can't I get laid? See previous answer.

I bitch about my life, yet I do nothing about it. Everything has a domino effect (I hope) but I need to get the ball rolling. Domino effect…. Ball rolling. I guess instead of ball I should have used a domino reference. I should get the domino rolling? That doesn't sound right. Are those domino things just called "dominoes", or are they called something else? Chips? No that can't be right. Tiles? I guess I could Google it. I AM on a computer right now. OK I will.

Wait for it………….

Yeah Wikipedia tells me they're called tiles.


What was I talking about? Oh yeah. The what I have to do to make me a happy Mike thing. I'll do it as steps. Those are always fun. You know, I'm actually cracking myself up with my fantastically witty lines. Damn I'm one hell of a hilarious motherfucker. Am I a mother fucker for real? I'll get to that. (Here's a hint – see that throwaway word "lying" in paragraph 2. That'll come into play.

1. Lose some weight, and get some GOD-DAMNED muscles you bastard.

2. Gain some self - confidence. Maybe if you're not so much of an embarrassing fatass you'll actually ask some bitch out, and then fuck her. Man, it'll be sweet to finally be in a vagina. Mouths and hands are all well and good, but when they belong to some whore I met off a partyline it isn't much to brag about. Maybe I'll meet some nice vagina. Actually scratch that. I have met a nice vagina. I treated her like shit for no reason and we had a falling out that was all my fault and now she seems to be happy with her new man and that's good for her but that sucks for me. I guess that line "absense makes the heart grow fonder" sort of applies here, maybe mixed with a little "don't know what you got 'til it's gone." But then I never really "had" it. I could've. I should add another generic quote that applies the most to my life in the present – "beggers can't be choosers."

3. Wonder why I decided to do a list when I got to my point in number 2. Lol. Number 2. I took a shit at work on Wednesday. I stank the hell out of that bathroom. It was one hell of a memorable defecation.


What's bringing all this on? Well, damn it, I'm sick of not having fun on the weekends. I simply want to hang out with friends on the weekend, drink some beers, watch the game, you know – do the generic weekend shit. I'm 28 fucking years old. I believe that's considered the prime time of a male's life. What other guys my age do on a weekly basis and probably consider a run-of-the-mill weekend happens so infrequently to me that when I have one of these weekends it's a big deal to me. Unfortunately I don't have "friends." I have one "friend." I cannot expect this one "friend" to be at my beck and call whenever I want to hang out. I wish I had more friends that are into the whole "generic weekend" shit, but I do not. And again it all goes back to my personality which doesn't make me the funnest guy to hang around with. People like to talk when they hang out. I'm not a talker. I want to do this generic weekend shit which includes watching the game, but I don't know shit about sports enough to hold up my end of a conversation. Wow, I think the Sox won the Stanley Cup after 46 years or something.

I'm done rambling.

Oh I did forget the initial motivation for writing this. I hate being text-ignored. I may not be a talker but I text message like crazy. I get insulted when I don't get responded to. There's nothing worse than feeling ignored.

OK now I'm really done. I hope you all have a good life and do not get the AIDS that I wished on you earlier today.

Ozzfest 2008 - Ozzy, AC/DC and Alice Cooper !!!!!!!!

not - but this is almost as good

quickie

Have I mentioned how much e-rewards.com rocks? Well, it does. I've gotten, what, a dozen or so magazine subscriptions for free, and some pizza hut coupons, and, woohoo, now two free previously viewed dvds. All for filling out surveys. It's fun.

I'm gonna get Pearl Jam tickets tomorrow. Yay. And when they go on sale, I'll probable get 311/Snoop, Linkin Park/Chris Cornell, Disturbed, REM, Nine Inch Nails, Cheap Trick/Journey, and Maroon 5.

Oh yeah, and the fucking river Rave is back! Stone Temple Pilots (who?) Filter (Hey Man Nice What?) Everlast

18-1 - I have a man crush on Eli Manning

I'm fucking glad they lost.

They won 18 games, and it was a foregone conclusion that they would win the Super Bowl. Shit, they were, what, 12 point favorites.

Well, they lost motherfuckers and I couldn't be happier.

Going into the game I wasn't sure who I was rooting for. The Pats were the hometown team and a perfect season would've been a good story, but, the underdog Giants winning would be a much better story.

I don't buy into that Boston vs New York rivalry bullshit. It's a fucking retarded way to sell t shirts and books but it doesn't mean shit to me.

The Giants won. They outplayed us and won a good, no, great game. I'm fucking happy for them.

I'm happier that we lost.

There will be no parade.

Deal with it you stupid cocksuckers.

quick thought

I don’t strive to be alone, but my actions make it inevitable. Why would anybody want to be friends with and/or go out with me? I’m quiet, I’m a horrible conversationalist, and I’m not attractive. Also, I can change moods on a dime. Drunk or sober, I can go from happy or indifferent Mike to pissed off Mike over the smallest detail. It’s so bad that I got legit pissed that one of my former favorite bars got rid of its trivia machine. I was drunk and did….something naughty.

I have been going to a certain bar for longer than I could legally drink -> I wish I could get this bar in trouble for serving alcohol to a minor.

The Passion of the Mike

I have no passion........for anything. Fuck off.